I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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