Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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