standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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