dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
