Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
