Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
