I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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