I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
