eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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