i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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