WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
