Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
