Define "chronic" masturbator.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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