We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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