I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
this is an emotional support booty call
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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