If i come over, it means nothing
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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