I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
