All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
okay pat passed out under dana's car
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
