I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize