just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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