thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
