It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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