belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
