No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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