You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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