These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
