Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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