White coat. Heels.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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