How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
