I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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