when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
