remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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