Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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