I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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