Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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