you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
