Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
