I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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