Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
