i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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