I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
