I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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