belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize