Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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