i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
