I smell stomach acid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
