When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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