Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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