Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
