k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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