I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
