I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
