im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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