Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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