i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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