Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize