He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
