I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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